Fear: Let It Go and Be Brave

I had a really hard time writing this post, but you know how sometimes spilling your guts makes you feel better? I’m hoping this might have the same effect.

Being a retired student for the past month has given me ample time to ponder, break down, build back up, and explore a million things that never graced my mind before. I’ve learned to be a bit more intuitive with my actions, notice beauty in places I never saw it before, and live life at a bit of a slower pace. Being the Type A personality that I am, I never expected to enjoy a day with no plan or schedule. But I am.

Beauty

Have you ever heard the saying “when the student is ready, the teacher appears“? I’ve been having these moments while reading this book, and when this article popped up in my feed. I am realizing that fear has permeated many facets of my life, and that it is ultimately preventing the natural course that life is supposed to take.

Let me give you an example; a month ago, I was freaked out beyond belief that my life as a student was over. Instead of embracing the change, fear (of stagnancy, failure, boredom, etc.) prevented me from moving on. After many life chats with friends (thanks friends!) I learned to embrace the change and release the fear.

Fearlessness is still a work in practice, I assure you. Another slightly comical example of how fear has seeped in (I swear, most people I have recounted this story too have laughed at my misfortune) happened three weeks ago when I had my first real-person job interview for a nursing job. As much as I tried to embrace the situation, my fear and nervousness couldn’t be suppressed. If an award existed it would have won, ‘The Worst Job Interview of All Time’ award. How bad was it, you ask? Let’s just say I broke down in tears; in the interview!

Oh, but wait; that’s not the funny part! The real knee-slapper is that I got the job. You would think this would call for elation on my part, but instead I became fearful of having to accept a job that I didn’t want to take. Thankfully all the introspection I’ve taken part in over the past month led me to listen to my heart, and I turned down the job.

Oh J.Lo, you speak so much truth. As hard as it is to admit, fear has infiltrated blogging too. Comparison is such an ugly monster, but it is not one I (or most people, I think) are immune to. When I see the beautiful content being published everyday by this amazing community of like-minded people, I fear that I am not good enough, and that I am losing my ability and desire to contribute how I would like to.

Yoga fun

So, I am at a bit of an odds. I love blogging, but I am also learning that I love a lot of other things too. I love yoga, and writing, and bike riding, and spending time with friends. Based on my past efforts I am coming to the conclusion that listening to my heart is the thing to do in squashing fear, and this applies to blogging too. I’m resolving to simplify and do what feels right, not what my editorial calendar or ‘blogging for dummies’ tells me to do.

If I didn’t do a good enough job explaining how I feel, Elsa sums it up quite well.

xo Suzanne

No questions, but I would love to hear your thoughts.


 

Get your veggy on:

About Suzanne Poldon

runs on plants. eats out of mason jars. bends like a straw.

28. April 2014 by Suzanne Poldon
Categories: Mind, Personal | Tags: , , , | 23 comments

Comments (23)

  1. Fear almost prevented me from starting a blog; with inspiration from blogs like yours, I decided to go for it. I hope you’re able to find a balance between all of the things you love. You are more than good enough—you’re amazing!
    Meredith @ Unexpectedly Magnificent recently posted…Quinoa Tabouli with Roasted TomatoesMy Profile

  2. It sounds hard at first, but I’m glad you’re coming to terms with being done school and starting the job hunt. That will be me in 2.5 months and I’m a bit scared, but you’re giving me reassurance that everything will be ok. :D

    Also I can totally relate to what you said about blogging and comparison. I think we just need to keep in mind how much work we put into our blogs and be proud of what we do though!
    Chelsea @ Chelsea’s Healthy Kitchen recently posted…Spring chickpea quinoa saladMy Profile

  3. You do whatever you feel like you need to do! If your heart isn’t in it, then forcing yourself to do so is just a recipe for unhappiness! You are such a wonderful blogger and person with such inspiring ideas, that no matter what kind of schedule you fall on, all your readers will still be here waiting for you. I know I will be.

    Good luck figuring things out. I have been where you are and while I would love to say the uncertainty goes away, it doesn’t (at least it didn’t for me). What happened is that I became more comfortable with, and even welcomed the uncertainty. Uncertainty also means possibility!

    Hugs my dear xox
    Gabby @ the veggie nook recently posted…tempeh portobello sloppy joesMy Profile

  4. I’ll be in the same place as you in the next month or so…and it definitely freaks me out a bit. But like you, I have to learn to embrace it and let the pieces fall where they may. As much as I would like to, I can’t pre-plan every facet of my life…so I need to learn to accept some uncertainty.

    As for blogging, it’s hard to avoid the comparison trap. But, I think blogs are that much better when the blogger is really just doing what they want to do. You’re an awesome blogger, and people will love it regardless of whether or not you’re sticking to your editorial calender ;-)
    Sam @ Better With Sprinkles recently posted…FLTW: Learning to Embrace Meditation Through Yoga.My Profile

  5. Oh how I wish I could give you a hugeeeeee hug right now! I am certainly no more wise than you are but I can tell you that the next year of your life is gonna be the scariest, stressful BUT most rewarding time in your life (So far). Nothing like spending 22 years of your life in school only to discover that most of the world doesn’t follow a school calendar!

    My advice to you, don’t be afraid to make mistakes and never ever settle. If you make a wrong turn and find yourself unhappy then turn around and try a new path! I graduated 3 years ago and in that time I have lived in 3 cities, taken 3 jobs, ended friendships, started new ones, made decisions to please others and then finally made choices to please myself. Though I would never change my experiences, I do wish I had known then that I have the power to change my life and that if there’s a will there’s a way. Things do work out as they should, even if you ball your eyes out in a job interview (which for the record I have also done!!!).

    Hang in there Su and embrace the craziness that is life as much as you possibly can. And if things get out of control you always ALWAYS have friends you can turn to :) Don’t ever hesitate to call! xo
    Davida @ The Healthy Maven recently posted…Broccoli with Miso-Hemp DressingMy Profile

  6. Oh Suzanne, your post speaks to me so much. Fear has been the story of my life and has held me back so many times. I’m turning 40 this year and if I’m allowed to give any kind of advice, it is to do what you think is best for yourself and really trust your instincts. You’ll probably make some mistakes along the way and maybe have some regrets, but that is normal. And, honestly, it’s okay to have fear, but the important thing is to do what you think is best without comparison to others or influence from what you think you should do. It’s so hard, but it sounds like you are really giving this some thought and doing what your heart is telling you to do.

  7. Sending big hugs Suzanne! I know that fear all too well and it can be pretty all-invasive. It sounds like you’re fighting it hard and I’m so glad you listened to your heart in turning down that job.
    I’m coming to the end of my masters now and just finishing a month long internship so the conversations with myself about what I’m going to do with my life are pretty constant. I haven’t found an answer yet but am trying to keep calm and embrace the unknown….
    Good luck for whatever comes next :D xx
    Emma recently posted…Banana-Almond-Oat BarsMy Profile

  8. Girl, we are totally on the same wavelength here. I read the article you linked to- thanks so much for sharing it. I think doubt goes hand in hand with fear and is definitely something I’ve been experiencing lately. Your blog is awesome and you clearly have tons of supporters based on all the great comments this post already has. I know everything will work out for you with jobs- try not to put too much pressure on yourself. I totally would do something like cry in an interview so I think we are destined to be besties. xoxo

  9. Oh, how I know how you feel! I moved to a different city almost a year ago and in February I started studying journalism. I had so much fear – I wanted to be in my old city where I could be with my friends and family. I hated my new city. However, I eventually grew to love it, and I now I have so many new friends, and I still see my old friends and of course my family. My best advice to you would be to just give it time. :)

  10. Suzanne, after I graduated from undergrad, I was so completely lost. I had no idea what I wanted to do with my life, what I was passionate about, or where I stood. It took me over two years to figure out what I wanted to do, or how I could contribute to the world (and I still don’t know if I’m 100% sure of what I want to do when I “grow up!”)

    When I read your beautiful blog, I see a confident, bright woman, with a variety of passions. And I think it’s amazing that you’re able to look inside yourself and see when something fits or doesn’t fit for you. When I was your age/at your stage, I was absolutely not as level headed and self-aware as you are.

    Just know that you have my support and a friend in me. You have inspired me in so many ways :)
    Allison @ Clean Wellness recently posted…Balancing Buddha Bowl with Curry Pecan DressingMy Profile

    • Allison!! Thank you so much for taking the time to write this; it means so much to me (and I am similarly inspired by YOU!)

  11. I LOOOOVE your blog and nominated you for the Liebster Award, check out the details on my blog now :)
    Dietitian Jess recently posted…Liebster AwardMy Profile

  12. Thank you for sharing this with us Suzanne. Fear is a tough thing to work through, it can at times just take control and leave us feeling helpless.
    One of the things I learned in school from my favourite instructor was “Faith, not fear.” To just believe that everything will work out ok helps the universe make it happen for you! I try to focus on this little mantra a lot… though I will admit I succumb to fear at times too. Especially thinking my blog sucks and I’m so guilty of comparing it to others like you’re super amazing blog! =)
    I’ll have to read the article ;p
    Good job on working through your fears!

  13. Pingback: Latelyhello, veggy!

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